How To Feel Powerful In A Difficult Situation

When we hear stories of people who have faced really traumatic situations, and you try to imagine how you would cope yourself, most of us believe we wouldn’t. But you could.

I recently read Leigh Sales book (Any Ordinary Day). She writes about people she’s interviewed who have been blindsided by a traumatic experience. They may have narrowly escaped death themselves, or lost a loved one way too early.

But the fact is, most of us are more resilient than we believe we are. We do bounce back from life’s hurdles. Some people though, do more than bounce back. They grow, they thrive. They experience the opposite of post traumatic stress. They experience post traumatic growth.

They have an internal sense of power and control.

An internal sense of power and control is a belief. It’s not something that you’re born with like brown hair or blue eyes.

Someone with an internal sense of power and control believes they can “control the controllables” and they can “cope with the uncontrollables”.

Do you remember the Australian journalist, Peter Greste?

On 29 December 2013, he and two other journalists, were arrested by Egyptian authorities for allegedly reporting news which was damaging to national security. Greste was found guilty by the court and sentenced to seven years in prison. His first few weeks were spent in solitary confinement. In total, he spent 400 days in prison. He hadn’t done any of the things he was accused of doing.

On his release, one question he was always asked was “how on earth did you cope?”

His response was telling. It showed his internal sense of power and control, and in particular, his belief in his coping skills when experiences are not within his control.

What was in his control was what he did with his time, his physical health, how he managed his emotions, and his self-talk.

He said every opportunity he had, he would exercise his body. If he was let outside for an hour, he would run for an hour. He followed an exercise plan called 5BX which was designed for the Canadian Air Force so they could exercise in confined spaces.

Without any reading or viewing materials, he had a lot of time where his mind could run amok. He said “in that kind of environment, your mind can be your own worst enemy”. He was aware of his thoughts and emotions, and simply being aware of them, allowed him to manage them in a way that was positive and with perspective. He believed he could and would cope.

And he did.

He arrived home in February 2015 psychologically intact.

Why is an internal sense of power and control so important?

Your sense of power and control is just a belief system. Essentially, you learn to have either an internal or external sense of power and control from your parents and your environment.

People with an internal sense of power and control have usually been taught problem-solving skills as children. They probably grew up in an environment where they were encouraged to think for themselves. They were taught how to resolve difficulties rather than their parents or others doing it for them.

Having an internal sense of power and control is important to both physical and mental health, and is particularly important when making changes in your life. You will have that “can do” attitude. You’ll know that change may be challenging but you know you’ll cope and tolerate.

Because it is a belief, we can shift it from being external (unhelpful) to internal (helpful). This is one of the key elements within The Thrive Programme. You learn HOW to develop a strong, stable and internal sense of power and control. Contact us here at Thought Ratio to find out more.