How to challenge an unhelpful belief
Firstly though, what’s a belief? A simple explanation is a belief is ‘a thought you keep on thinking’.
But beliefs are a little different to thoughts because thoughts emerge and then if we don’t grab hold of them, they slowly drift away.
Beliefs on the other hand are like a lens that we’re looking through every day. Your set of beliefs, or lenses, will be different to others. We each have thousands of beliefs that shape the world we see every moment of the day, our reality. Some of them are based on scientific evidence i.e. the world is round, while other beliefs will be personal to us i.e. I believe I’m not a very creative person. Some of these personal beliefs developed when you were a child from our primary caregivers, school, community, and others around us. We experience something, process it, and then if we continue to think about it, it has the potential to become a belief.
While some beliefs are helpful, others limit us. Limiting or unhelpful beliefs hold us back from so much in life. They may stop us from building new relationships, saying yes to a promotion at work, sticking to an active lifestyle, trying new experiences, and so much more.
The first step in challenging unhelpful beliefs is to know what yours are. One way to detect unhelpful beliefs is to listen to our inner dialogue. We have beliefs in every aspect of our lives - relationships, parenting, learning, social life, self care, physical activities, spirituality, community life, work/career are some examples. Choose one area and start a sentence with the words “I believe I’m ….. “ How does it finish? It is helpful or unhelpful? Is it limiting you?
How to challenge limiting beliefs
State the limiting belief. Write it down.
Where did it come from? We think we know the origin of some beliefs but many have just been scooped up along the way. We’ve had a thought and then we’ve continued to hold on to it rather than let it go.
What evidence do I have for it? And is this evidence from a reliable and trustworthy source? Note: You may not be a reliable source! You may think you’re terrible at xyz but other people will confirm with you that you’re not and they will give you trustworthy evidence to prove it!
What evidence do I have against it? Our beliefs ignore evidence that doesn’t confirm it to be true i.e. If you have a belief that you’re not very attractive then when someone pays you a compliment, you’re likely to ignore it. You’ll think '“ah, they’re just being nice to me, they don’t really mean it.”
What is the cost of keeping my limiting belief? Limiting beliefs always carry a cost to a happier, healthier, thriving life.
Do I want to keep it? This is a serious question. You always have a choice.
How can I challenge it? What do I need to do to take one small step to challenge it? Some unhelpful beliefs may be easy to challenge, while others will take time. Challenging it may be simply looking at all the evidence against it and choosing to bin it and adopt a new belief. Others may require effort to give you personal evidence that the unhelpful belief isn’t true i.e. if your unhelpful belief is you’re not an exercise person, then choosing an activity that you actually find enjoyable and starting out with small steps such as one session per week for a few weeks before moving on to two sessions per week.
Limiting beliefs always carry a cost. Start by choosing just one limiting belief and go through the steps above. If you’d like to go through the process together, you can book in for a no-obligation 15 min conversation.